GK: Phil The Fish (Tottenham) – Kicking off our first ever TOTS for Division 1 is Tottenham’s aquatically minded goalkeeper Phil The Fish. Phil used his incredible lung power and massive fins to stave off enemy shots all season long as he led Division 1 with 85 saves to go along with 1 CS and 5 MOTM awards (T-2nd) in his 16 games in net. Phil ultimately couldn’t steer his and Spurs’ tail into the promotion battle, but he certainly made his mark on the league and will be one of the goalies to watch in the second season of Division 1.
CB: ThenotoriousRDO (Porto) – Slotting into the first spot in the defense for the TOTS is Porto’s one time manager but known to all badass ThenotoriousRDO. RDO kicked butt and took names all season in a variety of roles, but he spent most of his time at CB where he led the league in passing points with 36 and MOTM awards with 7 while also adding 5 G, 7 KP, 4 CS, and 26 INT as he played in all 18 games for Porto. RDO will be taking his talents to Celtic for the VIP League and S6, but his reputation should certainly follow him wherever he goes in the future of the PCN.
CB: Jigsaw (Napoli) – Sliding in next to RDO in the heart of the TOTS defense is Napoli’s manager and defensive stalwart Jigsaw. It’s not hard to piece together the puzzle of why Jigsaw made the cut as he tied (with CB partner APEXxPREDATOR85) for the league lead in clean sheets with 7, while also chipping in 1 G, 36 INT, 27 PP, and 2 MOTM awards in only 13 games. Jigsaw’s Napoli cruised to the Division 1 title under his watch with the joint best defense in Division 1 (16 GA) and will be one of the most interesting teams to follow going forward as they play in the S5 Super Cup before joining the Super League in S6.
CB: A Raging Seal (Porto) – When most people think of seals, they think cute! Well think again PCN - A Raging Seal has been spotted and he is out to destroy your strike force! Raging Seal had an excellent season for Porto as he led the league in tackles with 32 as well as collecting 5 CS (3rd), 42 INT (3rd), 32 PP, and 2 MOTM awards in 18 GP. Porto narrowly missed out on the playoffs, but certainly Raging Seal can lift his snout high knowing that he and his flippers did all they could to push Porto towards the Super League.
LM: Blickes01 (LA Galaxy) – Did you see him? There he went again! I told you not to blink or you would miss Blickes01 of LA Galaxy carving up another defense. Blickes was the creative force behind a Galaxy team that narrowly edged Lyon for the 2nd automatic promotion spot to the Super League as he led the league in assists with 9 to go along with 5 G, 5 KP, 12 PP, and 2 MOTM awards in just 11 games. With players like Blickes leading the attack, LA have a great chance at an upset or two (or three?) in the S5 Super Cup before joining the Super League full time in S6.
CM: UltimateBanny (Tottenham) – This next player is not for the faint of heart and if you can’t take a little bit of UltimateBanny, I suggest you stop reading now. Banny was a steady force in the midfield for Spurs as can be evidenced by his well-rounded stat line of 2 A, 26 DT (2nd), 28 INT, 25 PP, and 2 MOTM awards in 16 GP. Banny certainly likes to talk the talk, but I think opposing midfielders will learn more and more as he tears through them that he can certainly walk the walk as well.
CM: eXoTiC x TIGER (Porto) – What’s more frightening than coming across a tiger in the wild? Coming across an eXoTiC x TIGER that could just as easily give you a giant hug or eat your face off. Sadly, too many Division 1 defenses had the latter happen to them this season as TIGER chipped in 8 G, 2 A, 6 KP, 15 DT, 14 INT, and 3 MOTM awards in 12 games. It’s been said that a tiger doesn’t change his stripes, so Division 1 players should continue to fear the eXoTiC x TIGER as he lurks in the bushes waiting to spring his next attack.
RM: TnTx Recon (Napoli) – Napoli’s TnTx Recon often exploded for huge games during his short time in Division 1 as the American midfielder will soon be plying his trade in the Super League. Recon was another balanced player whose 3 G, 3 A, 14 KP (3rd), 25 INT, and 22 PP in 13 GP certainly helped push Napoli on to the league title. Hopefully Super League managers do a little bit of reconnaissance themselves when they come up against Napoli and TnTx Recon in S6 before their gameplans blow up in their faces.
LF: Leak Boys 02 (Lyon) – Lyon’s manager and stud striker Leak Boys 02 was a master of finding the leaks of opposition defenses all season long as can be seen by his inclusion in the TOTS. Leak defied the norms of the striker position with his league-leading 15 key passes as well as 7 G, 8 A (T-2nd), 19 PP, and 3 MOTM awards in 15 games. Leak’s unselfishness on and off the pitch paid off in the end as the French side defeated Boca Juniors 3-2 over two legs in the promotion playoff to secure a spot in the Super League for S6.
ST: GA BALLA (Napoli) – Wanna see a balla, GA BALLA, Napoli’s key man terrifying d-men! GA BALLA was a sensation this season in Division 1 as he led all players in TOTS points and goals with 14 strikes this term while also collecting 5 A, 15 KP (T-1st), 34 PP (T-2nd), and 5 MOTM awards (T-2nd) in 14 GP. BALLA was a bit of an unknown heading into this season like many of his Napoli teammates, but I don’t think that will be much of an issue going forwards after his incredible season in the attack.
RF: x iJewFro x (Napoli) – What’s one hairstyle you typically don’t associate with elite athletes? If you said jew fro, well quite frankly you are wrong as NBA legend Bill Walton before him and now Napoli’s x iJewFro x have proven. JewFro was GA BALLA’s partner in crime for much of the season as he grabbed 8 G, 8 A (T-2nd), 12 KP, 17 PP, and 3 MOTM awards in just 11 games for the Italian giants. JewFro’s appearances may have deceived Division 1 goalies and defenses this season, but after Napoli paced D1 with 36 GF and won the league by 6 points, hopefully the days of players being hairest are over.